Finding What’s Most Meaningful to You: A Guide for the Stuck & Searching
Countless studies point to meaning and purpose as essential elements to a life well lived. Meaning and purpose can act as a compass - pointing the way forward even when you feel lost and it’s one of the most important things I do with clients. But, if you’re anything like me, the pressure to find your life’s purpose can feeling overwhelming, intimidating, and unclear. For us sensitive folks, it can be hard to know what matters most or even what you really want in the first place. The truth is: You don’t have to force clarity, you just have to create space and curiosity for it to emerge. The following are some guidelines to help you think it all through.
Step 1: Start Where You Are (Even If It’s Nowhere)
Before panicking about not knowing your purpose, pause. You don’t have to figure out your whole life today. Instead, ask:
What do I love researching or thinking about, even when no one’s watching?
When do I feel most alive?
What problems make me want to take action?
If you don’t know, notice what you complain about. Frustration can point toward what you care about.
Step 2: Unmask Your Real Desires
Many of us have spent so long adapting to expectations that we’ve lost touch with our internal compass. Are the things you’re chasing actually yours—or just what you were told to want?
Try this:
Think about a goal you have.
Now ask: If no one could see me succeed at this, would I still want it?
If not, that goal might not be yours.
Step 3: Follow Energy, Not Just Outcomes
Instead of obsessing over a singular “purpose,” notice what gives you energy:
What makes time disappear when you’re doing it?
What drains you, no matter how much you “should” enjoy it?
Purpose isn’t a fixed destination—it’s tracking what feels nourishing and doing more of that.
Step 4: Experiment Without Pressure
Stop waiting for perfect clarity before acting. Instead:
Micro-experiments. Test small actions that resonate.
Prototypes. Try something for a season instead of committing for life.
Permission to pivot. You don’t have to get it right the first time.
Think of your search for meaning as gardening, not goal-setting. Plant different seeds, see what grows.
Step 5: Let Go of the Idea That It Has to Be BIG
We’ve been told purpose must be huge and world-changing, but some of the most meaningful lives are built on small, steady moments of care, curiosity, and connection.
Maybe your purpose right now is to be a great friend.
Maybe it’s to make something beautiful.
Maybe it’s to fight for something bigger than yourself.
Maybe it’s simply to be here, fully, in your own life.
Whatever it is, it’s enough.
Final Thoughts: Trust That You’re Already On the Path
You’re not behind. You’re not missing your “one big thing.” You are already in motion, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.
By paying attention, following what feels alive, and allowing yourself the freedom to explore, you will land somewhere meaningful. And if clarity isn’t here today? That’s okay. Just start by noticing. The rest will come.
